Well, I’ve definitely met a lot of guys with a purpose to get to know them and see the suitability of finding a partner for life. However just meeting someone that I’ve never met before or only briefly met, I don’t classify it a date. A date to me is when a couple likes each other and then spends time together to form a basis for intimate relation or marriage. For now, leaving the terminology aside, and as most of you may still judge and call it a date… so be it.
I’ve been learning to dance salsa since about 12 weeks now and go to Establishment every Tuesdays to practice and I did the same last Tuesday. I was talking to my friend through signals as he was at a bit of distance and Mr ‘ Bond’ thought I was asking him for a dance and I apologised to him and said that I was in fact talking to my friend who was right behind him.
Mr’Bond’ was quite tall with good physique, blonde hair and to top it all a great smile:)
I ended up dancing with my friend and poor Mr ‘Bond’ danced with someone else. I straight away felt that I was so mean and rude to this guy and wanted to apologise and have one dance. Before I could find him Mr ‘Bond’ found me and we danced, I felt he was chatting more than dancing. I didn’t want to be rude as this is what i was taught by my parents during my upbringing so i did pay attention( I later realised how this can be perceived so wrong). As per my routine i said thanks to him after the dance and was hoping to dance with someone else. Mr ‘Bond’ seemed keen and asked ‘ Do you really have to go?’ I continued dancing with him and then the conversation seemed to be non stop, I soon realised that I wouldn’t be able to dance with anyone else that night for sure. As a beginner its best to dance with different people so you get to learn more, anyway my plans were down the drain. His conversation wasn’t boring so that kept me going too which wasn’t bad. He initially thought i was Iranian and was telling me about his 3 months trip to India so i was more focused to find out how he felt and what his experience was as I’m an Indian and wanted to know his perspective. While leaving he asked for my number and as I’m single I thought what could be wrong in giving the number out so I did. He later sent me texts and even a link to his blog of his trip to India. I didn’t think much of the meet at that time.
Mr ‘Bond’ asked the next day if I was heading to the Argyle on Wednesday evening but I was so exhausted from work that I couldn’t go and informed him of the same. He expressed how disappointed he was and said he was looking forward to see me. I then sensed a sense of interest coming my way from him which was made clear when he expressed how he was ready to travel out west just to see me. He lives in Stanmore which is a bit of a distance to travel. We agreed on meeting on Saturday that week.
I’m quite easy going so he asked if I had any preference, i told him how I usually try and avoid having dinner with anyone considering how slow I eat and don’t like getting stuck with bad company for long. But I let him decide the venue and he picked up an Indian Restaurant in Glebe.
I told him not to judge me based on me being Indian. It is not a must that we head out for Indian food but he said he liked indian food and hadn’t tried that place out before and also mentioned how it was close to the Off Broadway Hotel where we could go for Salsa later, this indicated how he had already planned to spend a good few hrs together.
I’m on a dating app since about 5 weeks and have met a few guys from there. Circumstances and experience have made me picky when it comes to guys. I didn’t think much about meeting Mr ‘Bond’. But for the first time I had planned to go for dinner with some stranger, usually its just drink or coffee as that way I can escape away quicker if I’ve to;)
I was late at the venue due to congestion on road, but Mr ‘Bond’ seemed very sweet and accommodating with that. I turned it from 7:15 to 7:45. He didn’t mention even once about it and said that night was young which was very positive outlook. Initially the conversation was quite formal but we both started to open up and it felt like we had known each other for so long. There was a lot to talk about. I even told him how i was on the dating app and as a matter of chance met 6 guys the week prior. He asked me about each of those 6 experiences in detail! He was so focused and paid so much attention and wanted to know so much! I even told him about my idea of date and we went on joking about it. He mentioned that those guys that I met last week were on ‘probation’ and I said that would be the case if they were hired! He then said he definitely was on probation though.. Until then I hadn’t thought about it but I liked his confidence especially knowing that I had met a lot of guys. He even questioned me on why I didn’t want to be with an Indian guy and told him about some of my experience and he said that he noticed how some indian men can treat women like sex object! (later you shall read what Mr’ Bond’ really is – hypocrite). I told him how most westerners are clear in their objective and if they want just fun they say openly and if they want serious relationship they are again clear about it but somehow I found this missing in most (mind you -most, not saying all)Indian guys.(I found out I was so wrong aye!)We even spoke about meditation and how it has helped him. I also told him how I was skeptical about meeting him or not and he said he thought I was interested in him too purely because I showed interest in his conversation while doing salsa!( Mind you this wasn’t the case).
Later we went for salsa at the off Broadway Hotel. In spite of having told him a few times that I wouldn’t mind if he danced with someone else he still stuck around dancing with me the entire time. At one stage I felt he was tired and asked him if he wanted to leave and he said he didn’t know what he wanted but perhaps he just wanted to sit down and chat a bit more with me, I was ok with that and we left. We sat down for a bit and there was more chatting, he was questioning me on why I was so picky. I somehow felt I could talk to him about it and shared with him a few details of my experience( I might share that in future) although he seemed tired he still wanted to listen and he was still paying attention. He then asked for a hug and we did.
It was the first time I had spent so many hours with someone that I met recently. He then offered to walk me to my car and I offered him a lift home and he accepted. He mentioned to me that after being to India for the first time in life he wanted to have a wife and not just a girl friend. He also told me that he was learning salsa to hopefully find a partner and to be able to maintain the physical chemistry. He asked for a hug again, I was about to hug him just before we entered the car, he said he preferred the privacy and would rather hug in the car, I said ok. We hugged while he was on the passenger seat and I was on the driver seat. He then said he didn’t feel quite connected that way and asked if I would mind hugging him on his seat and said to trust him that he has no other intentions. Now this was a different for sure… however I had been talking to a female friend of mine just about a week ago telling her how I didn’t really miss anything from a relationship point of view but what I really did miss was being able to hug someone closely so well the thought went across my mind and I said YES to him. Jumped over from my seat to his seat , and he gave me a nice warm hug.. a hug I’ve not experienced. I felt like the Universe was bringing to me what I wanted. He then told me that he really liked the satin top I wore the night we first met but he didn’t mind the black dress I wore that night either. His hug was constant and tight. I’m a very shy person by nature and haven’t had any flings, due to my mindset and outlook on life I don’t give sex much importance in life. For me emotional connection is the basic requirement. Anyway, while he was still hugging there were times I felt he was looking for a kiss and eventually he was successful in his attempts. I didn’t stop him, i enjoyed the previous few hours spent with him, I liked how he was so focused in listening to me and my past even when he was so tired. I don’t do things I don’t like to do, when I do do anything, I do it with passion and such was the case with the kiss and I guess thats why it turned into a pash. It was not long after did I realise that Mr ‘Bond” was all turned on. It wasn’t hard to tell as I was still hugging him on his car seat. There were times when he smiled a bit loud and I asked why and he said he was thinking of doing something but then it might be too early, the way he said it made me feel he was testing waters. He was trying to lift my dress up while still hugging me and I would just bring it back down , this happened a couple of times.I wasn’t sure if it was right or wrong but I’ve never done this before in any of my previous meet/date. If I would have let go we would have perhaps had sex. He also attempted to have his hands on my breasts and I just pulled his hand down. He then said I quite knew what I wanted, I said I did but perhaps he doesn’t.
Eventually after a total of 7 hrs of time spent with him,we decided to leave Glebe and drove him home, I was just about to drop him and he asked for a last hug for which he wanted me to stop in a dark alleyway, I literally had to drive around his area for 8 minutes to find a perfect place as he wanted to repeat a similar hug. Finally, I went home. He kept in touch through texts although it was sporadic still showing interest though. In the meantime I started reading his blogs on his trip to India. Within 6 entries I noticed he had crush 4 times already and it was bothering me on who did I meet. It felt like he had unstable feelings. On Monday evening he enquired if I was heading to the establishment again on Tuesday as he was looking forward to meet again. Although skeptical about seeing him but I would head to salsa anyhow so I told him I would go there. As I got there he was there too. We danced a couple of dances and I soon felt that something wasn’t right and I cant express it in words on how exactly I felt but it was just not right. I then said to him that he could dance with someone else and he accepted the offer for a change!(unusual of him from the previous 2 nights of salsa with him).
He spotted me a little later and asked to have a drink and took me to the side and said that he wanted to clear the air between us and I asked him to go ahead and he told me how we were not on the same page as I was looking for something long term whereas that was not his intention and he could only see me a s friend. I was quite taken aback not with the feeling of being rejected but because he was so fickle minded and how he had strong connection hardly 48 hrs back that has changed so drastically and how he was still expecting us to stay friends!!
I didn’t want to spoil the night for myself or for him and had one last dance with someone else and called it a night but just messaged him later to let him know that I felt I was used and also told him that I didn’t think it would have worked anyway after reading his blogs about getting into crushes daily. He then had the guts to message me and try and prove that he didn’t intend to doing any of what he did, he just felt a pure genuine connection(Only god knows how it was genuine when it couldn’t even last a week). He then informed me that he had met a girl a week before he met me and after he asked me out he told her that he was dating me and though he would love to know her and go dance with her but he just didn’t feel it was right to do so! I felt this was absurd that on one hand he said to the other girl that he would like to know her and dance with her and on the other hand he said he was dating me!! I told him how he was only perhaps looking for one night stand or fling and it was sad to know all this after i had opened up so much to him and even told him how many guys I met the week before whereas he had everything hidden.
In reply to my 2 line message I received a long essay which was full of contradiction. At one point he said he didn’t walk into meeting me on Saturday night with an intent of one night stand but he did think of forming a physical connection ‘ Sex” (which according to him is common in today’s dating world). Not at any stage did he apologise in fact he did agree that he did think from his dick:)
I feel glad that I didn’t get into a relationship with Mr’ Bond’ … I was discussing the whole scenario with a friend and he said who knows one day I would have got back home and found a novel sitting on the kitchen bench chronicling the reasons why he has packed up and moved out trying to justify ending a long term relationship without any warning. lol
I felt disgusted and low for the whole day as what I did was out of normal. It is unbelievable how guys change their feelings so quick. I do feel sad that I was so vulnerable but I’m glad that I didn’t get into a trap. I decided to write about the whole experience for the ladies who are out in the dating world and share the same perspective as me and also for guys and girls to know that there are females and males who don’t want to be misled. Dating is the time to get to know someone and see if your interests match and if you like each others company… I’m sure there would be plenty of time for the love making!
Ladies and Gents! This is my first blog post ever, I would really appreciate feedback if you have come this far on the forum board I created relating to this, sharing your ideas and opinions and how you perceive it:) Would love to hear all!
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